Do you know the connection between fear and anger?
Being angry is one way to mask fear from others… and even from yourself.
It can be a way to protect yourself from feeling weak, ashamed, embarrassed, or vulnerable. Unfortunately, it leads to struggle…
…which absolutely does not lead to success.
Here are some ways it can manifest:
- Fear of rejection
- Fear of money
- Fear of success
- Fear of intimacy
- Fear of commitment
- Fear of responsibility
It takes a lot of emotional energy to stay in the struggle. And it takes a huge amount of emotional energy to stay broke… yet people who harbor anger continue to insist on struggling. When they are just about to turn a corner and reach the success they have been dreaming of, something happens that sabotages them.
Remember when you were a child, full of dreams and aspirations?
You were free back then. You were naturally spontaneous.
Where is that little child? What happened to those dreams?
Keep asking yourself why, and eventually you’ll get to the heart of the matter. Who stole those dreams from you? Who replaced them with anger, disappointment, and fear? Who conditioned you not to be successful?
If you’re like most of us, by the time you were eighteen years old, you most likely heard the word no 144,000 times.
Consider this… what kind of philosophy of success did your parents have? Did they encourage you to live life on your own terms? Or did you watch them struggle? All of this early conditioning formed your own beliefs. Struggle, fear, worry, anger, failure… this is the cycle of sabotage.
If you live with unresolved anger, it’s likely you are very familiar with this sabotage syndrome. If key people in your circle of influence were inconsistent, angry, abusive, or full of worry, there’s a high probability that today you regularly experience anxiety about the future. This creates an overwhelmed state, and anger is often the result.
When you are full of angry emotions that you try to ignore, you will develop a pattern of avoidance. When you are afraid of failing, you will be resistant to try new things.
AND there’s a loop that plays over and over in your mind: “I don’t want to fail.”
You end up avoiding situations you perceive as having the potential for failure. But what you don’t understand is that you fail in a much more significant way. By failing to engage, you are missing out on life, and that’s the biggest failure of all.
You are waiting for the perfect, mythical, magical moment, but it never happens. The tooth fairy doesn’t show up. The success genie never appears. All that happens is that you continue to live in that overwhelmed, disappointed, so-called “safe” space.
But what is the result?
You feel a new wave of anger and guilt because you are not acting on the opportunities that present themselves. Your anger turns into resentment as you see other people succeeding, seemingly overnight.
In my coaching practice, I’ve assisted hundreds of professionals to build and sustain tremendous success over time…
… and I’ve assisted many of them to release the anger issues that were destroying the success they so desperately were seeking, shattering their dreams and goals.
Whether it is success in a career, financial success, or successful relationships, too often people aren’t aware of the part they play in destroying their chances for success and happiness. They are oblivious to how they repel the very outcomes they desire.
You don’t have to stay in the sabotage syndrome.
As you let go of your anger… as you face the cause that creates the effect in your life, you will experience a new openness to life.
You’ll be free to try new things, develop close relationships, and strive for excellence (not perfection). Instead of anger, fear, and anxiety, you’ll live in joy, confidence, and peace.