Let me start by saying…
…if you have any of these characteristics, it doesn’t make you bad!
You are not defective.
And most importantly, you are not inferior.
As you go through the list of the 7 Signs You Might Be Co-dependent In Your Business, realize you have learned to engage in these behaviors based on past events in your life. Often times, co-dependent behaviors are a way to protect yourself.
BUT in a business… and especially when you are building a team, these behaviors will hinder your ability to be successful. You may find some success, but your level of control will have you hitting an income glass ceiling.
The first step toward change is awareness.
So, let’s begin by looking at 7 Characteristics of Co-dependent Behavior in Your Business.
1. You’re quick to say “yes” to your teammates without pausing to consider how you feel.
If you frequently find yourself saying, YES, or find it challenging to say, NO… it’s time to look at your boundaries. Where do you draw the line? Do you even have a line? Guilt can also play a role in this scenario. Often times you may be too guilty to say NO. Overwhelming yourself with doing too much for others is a sure fire way to become stagnant in your business and emotional state.
2. You frequently make excuses or compensate for your teammates’ lack of commitment or production.
If a teammate doesn’t show up for team calls, team trainings, company events, or they are not recruiting… making excuses for the person is a sign of co-dependent behavior. You cannot ignore problems and pretend they are not happening. Telling yourself a story about why the person is behaving the way they are behaving will only lead to greater denial.
3. You think you’re helping your teammates by enrolling people for them. But at this point, you’re just enabling them.
It’s one thing to do 3-way calls for a teammate. BUT if you are enrolling people for them, you aren’t giving the person the opportunity to build a business for themselves. Your supportive acts foster unhealthy dependence. The goal is to create independence in a team atmosphere so that duplication can take place.
4. You’re always giving way more to your teammates than you’re receiving in return.
If you over-give, there is a high probability you will begin to develop resentment. It’s ok to give support. BUT, when you do too much for others, and there is little reciprocation or effort on the other person’s part… you are setting yourself up for disappointment. It’s time to let go and let each person take responsibility for their own business.
5. Your teammates are constantly taking advantage of your good qualities.
Do you feel like you are frequently being taken advantage of by your teammates? Are they avoiding taking responsibility for their own business and life? If this is the case, it’s time to assess your actions. It’s also time to evaluate your self-worth. When you let people take advantage of you, it’s likely your sense of value is lacking.
6. You feel responsible for your teammates’ pain and struggles.
If you feel too uncomfortable allowing a teammate to have their own pain or struggle, you may have a tendency to take it on for them. In this situation, you are likely to end up feeling resentful and frustrated. Hear this… You are NOT responsible for the feelings of others. We are all responsible for creating our own happiness.
7. Your relationship with your team is controlling.
If you ostracize, punish, or give a tongue lashing to anyone who doesn’t follow your rules or exact system… you are likely dealing with the fear of loss of control. You think you know the best way to get the job done, so in turn, you may find yourself using coercion, manipulation, guilt, or domination to keep control. If you attempt to build a team from this level of force, you will soon find your financial ceiling. Even worse… you will find people ending the business relationship with you.
Building A Team From Power
The biggest co-dependency issue is the need to control. Control is force. Force requires a counterforce. In a business of co-creation, there can be no force if you are a success seeker.
Do you know what the opposite of being controlling is?
That means you allow people to go through the learning process. You allow people to make their own mistakes. You allow them to take responsibility for their own failures. You allow them to take responsibility for their personal breakthrough process.
To build a team, you want to energize and assist people to move forward. Your role is to be a guide or a coach. Remember, the coach can’t play the game for the team. The coach has to stand on the sidelines giving guidance and support. Instead of rescuing people, empower them. Show them the tools to raise their skills, habits, and mindset. And most importantly… let go of control!
If you want to learn more about uncovering Why You Do What You Do.. Check out this blog post: DO YOU KNOW HOW TO BREAK DOWN CAUSE AND EFFECT?